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  • Writer's pictureTasha Vong

A Documented Series: Define Success - 1

So we're at the start... something which may or may not take off, let alone be complete. Whatever the case may be, I have to try.

The purpose of this blog series and potential video is one thing, to achieve success. In order to do this, I must create my definition. As of June 1, 2024, I'm 21 years old, completing my second college diploma and hoping that within the next five years I do the following:

  1. Be able to drive.

  2. Publish something within the creative arts.

  3. Get a full-time job.

  4. Have funding for my own place.

  5. Find my niche and happiness in a career.

I think that should be an okay goal. For context, I live at home; my family is very gracious to let me stay as long as I wish, so long as I pay for my own expenses. Even so, one day I hope to move to settle down.

I have gone through many processes of trying to figure out what my ideal career would be. When I was a child I wanted to be a super spy. The appeal fizzled out when I grew up and understood the reality of what that would entail. From that, I knew I wanted to help people...somehow. I began creative writing and videography in my early teens, watching movies and animations; writing my own ideas was very fun. I tried writing all kinds of stories and scripts, but I knew later that the film industry is very difficult, to become a director would take more than just a degree and portfolio. In my late teens, I had to decide where I wanted to go, so I applied for my local community college.

It was then I realized I wanted to work in tech. I loved designing, programming, audio/video-all of it. However, out of my three choices, there was one which stood out-game design.

My connection with video games started at the age of four. A lot of good memories came from my family playing games. I played third-person shooters at the age of seven, attacking zombies and trying to get the highest score.

My portfolio was extensive to get in, I developed a full game design document, used my programming knowledge to develop a small demo, did some concept art (despite me not being an artist) and a 3D model of a house with furniture for one of the main scenes in the game.

It is now 2024. I completed that diploma, and that dream is a mere memory. I didn't know the industry was so hard to get into. I briefly made an indie company with a colleague, but with life not on our side, we had it on hiatus after a few months of work. I am now in office administration as a backup career, and it is boring. I come from a tech background, I enjoy the creative field and have been informed by a few professors that I will find this boring.

With my life changed during the pandemic, I realized that young girl who had a spark is gone. I was diagnosed with OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) and anxiety by many doctors. For the past 3-4 years I've been fighting this mental battle; I want to get my drive back.

With this disorder, I find many are misinformed, they do not understand what OCD truly is. It is not a perfectionist trait- what they really refer to is OCPD (obsessive-compulsive personality disorder.) The reality of this, you have terrible thoughts/images within your mind, and you want to push them away, so you do things repetitively, and unhealthily but it makes the cycle continue and get worse.

Anyway, you didn't come to this to hear me talk about my mental disorder, on to my point.

Life is short and I've wasted a lot of time just trying to console myself. Medication, doctors, therapy, books, I have done it. Certain events in my life have been able to make my illness almost non-existent, ie: getting a part-time job in esports. Sometimes I wonder if I will be considered normal as my brain is wired backwards... but I have to remember not to give up, there are so many things in this world to discover and do, I just have to keep going.

Now the purpose of this blog series isn't for you to pity me, merely these things I am writing about are my personal thoughts for you to understand who I am.

Fear has helped a lot, but also has held me back from doing a lot of amazing things. I have stacks of manuscripts and ideas. I want to accomplish this goal to publish something, but I find it to be a tug of war with myself.

And I know you'll say how I'm a burden. Yeah, do your worst, all at once. - Mirror, Porter Robinson 2021

One of my favourite songs and albums by musician Porter Robinson; the message of this song is, that we are our own worse self-critic. I have been told by many that I am harsh on myself-I want to make people proud, and want to put my impact on the earth. I haven't yet in the capacity I wished.

I have been struggling with procrastination, the past few weeks have been the same. Work, school, homework, travelling, eating, games, cats and sleep. So to force myself to do things, I've been using an incentive strategy.

Task A, B, C = Reward

I want to put it into place immediately and do it. So many things I could do that are more productive that I need to act upon.

Coming to this realization was when I was researching electrical engineer and roboticist, Grant Imahara. You may know him from the television show, Mythbusters. Seeing his knowledge, demeanour and achievements was astonishing. He died young as well, and to think something like that could happen to me, let alone anything.... I want to have an impact like he did, much like many role models I've looked up to.

Write something to cheer someone up, inspire someone, have a selfless nature and loyalty-any of this, something, I want and need to do.

Today begins this journey, going live on all my platforms.

My first step is to volunteer. With this, I will also work on getting my life in order, becoming more healthy: Zumba for exercise, vitamins and building a routine. Just typing and saying I will do it is not enough sustenance, so I will implement things to prove it. Numbers, videos, doesn't lie.

I hope you will join me on this journey. Our lives are short, so let's live like it's our last.

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